Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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