So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
