no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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