I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
