Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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