I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Terrible idea I love it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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