Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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