she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
