i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
