Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
