Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
