Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
