Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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