C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
