You made me cry and you don't even care
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
