We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
