I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And my parents said I crawled through the house
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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