If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
