remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
