Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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