The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
