umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
