why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
