I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
