I think i peed on brittanys purse
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
