can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
