Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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