kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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