I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
