She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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