Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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