I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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