my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
