As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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