Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
