So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
