bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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