it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
