marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
