i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize
