There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
