Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think a kid would responsible me up
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
