then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
