Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
