when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
