I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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