he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
