if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
