How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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