Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
