I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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