And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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