I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
