I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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