I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
