was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
